Help

The lasts two weeks since my daughter has been born, I have received more help on more levels than I know what to do with some days. Some help has been needed, other help prayed for, and still some help volunteered.

I’ve learned help is relative. The helper has a different perspective than the helpee (to invent a word). There are issues of if the help has been asked for, if the help is the right kind of help, if the help is too little or too much. All of this takes experience, tact, and maybe the help of Miss Manners.

Too much help, especially when the help has a recognized monetary value, can become awkward for the helpee. It can become awkward for both helper and helpee if the reason or terms for the help are not verbalized and understood.

The best help comes from God because the help is right in time and exactly what one needs. For example, one morning at work, I was attempting to send a FedEx package to a customer and was unfamiliar with the process within the company as it had recently changed and I had never utilize the service. After searching on the company intranet site and through all my e-mails for instructions, and finding no FedEx waybill in our mailing area, I became frustrated and thought, Lord…sort this out.

Less than a minute later a colleague came by, seemingly with no destination in mind, and I greeted him. He offered me congrats on my daughter’s birth and I asked him how his project load was. Like a bolt of lightning it hit me: this colleague used to work in the mailroom and was the perfect person that could tell me exactly what I needed to know. Not only did he happily tell me what I needed to do, he got me the new company waybill and told me how I needed to fill it out and who needed to authorize my overnight shipment with their signature.

Moments after my colleague left, and I continued to fill the waybill. The colleague who could authorize my shipment walked out of the office right across the corridor from mine. Unbelievable, I praised, as I excitedly called him over. He graciously signed the waybill and I sent my shipment out. I thanked him, and then I thank HIM for sending help right in time.

Through the Looking Glass

Everyone said, “once you have a kid, your life will never be the same,” or some variation thereof. Of course they’re right. However, it’s an understatement if not a misnomer. Yes, my life is different, and I do feel different. However more accurately, I feel as if I’m in an alternate version of my previous reality.

I still live in the same place, but the furniture is arranged quite differently. I still sleep, but in a different bed, at different times, for different periods of times. I still eat, but I eat smaller quantities, and simpler meals, within shorter timeframes. I also drink much more water than I used to. I still wear earplugs, expect in one ear now so I can hear the baby. I also watch much, much less television than I did, which wasn’t much in the first place.

I’ve been fortunately that I have enough of life behind me that I feel I’ve arrived right on time to parenthood. And oh…between you
and me, although I sleep less, I sleep better.

Allowing Yourself To Be Led.

In American society, allowing one to be led instead of leading tends to be viewed as negative. At times, it is. However, there are times where the next step on one’s path in life requires allowing oneself to be led.

We all have our lists of what we’d like to accomplish in life, whether written or just in the ether of our minds. Our saving grace is that most people I’ve talked to, if not all (in my age group) are still working on their list. It’s part of what give us momentum. As it should be I suppose.

I used to think that once I had completed my written list that I was done with the driving and striving and could finally slow down and bask in the afterglow. Then, of course I could start worrying about what to do with the rest of my life.

After just about completing my list (I’ve got one more item to check off in the next week or so), and the time it has taken to completed the last item on it, I’ve come to realize that 1) there are two classifications of lists, and 2) Your life is the journey to fulfill your lists, whether or not you complete them. 3) Everybody has two lists, but not everyone is aware that he or she does.

There is a worldly list, and a spiritual list. The worldly list consists of things you can achieve yourself or through your solitary effort and of things which you are the single or main beneficiary. The spiritual list consists of things you can’t achieve by yourself or through your solitary efforts and of things of which you are not the beneficiary or main beneficiary.

These two lists apply regardless of your religious beliefs. If it helps you can substitute “worldly” with tangible, and "spiritual" with intangible.

For clear examples some things on my worldly list were getting a motorcycle, living in Florida, and being a parent. Examples on my spiritual list: finding a wife and Revitalizing Nigeria.

Now to be clear, one list isn’t necessary better than the other. In fact, I would say a worldly list is important in developing or realizing a spiritual list. There are also list item that can be argued for belonging to either worldly or spiritual list. In the end, I believe long term fulfillment in life comes from developing a worldly list and being led to realize a spiritual list.