Happy Farther’s Day Uncle

Saturday before last was my wife’s surprise baby shower. It also happened to be Father’s Day but I had been so busy with subterfuge in keeping the surprise in surprise baby shower that I had forgotten.

During the Jack and Jill event (that means boys can come too, as my niece would say), I receive a large (11” x 17”), homemade card from my niece that read “Happy Farther’s Day Uncle, Number 1 Uncle/Farther.” It had a yellow background with black diagonal stripe, with a large “F” on the bottom, and a caricature of myself at the top-left.

When I reach out to grab it, my niece told me she had to read it first. Quite nervously she began as a room of about twenty listened on:

Thank you Uncle

For coming to my open house…letting me sleep over…caring for me…helping me when I need it...taking me out for breakfast…holding me…carrying…taking me places when mommy can’t...inviting [my friend] to your baby shower…teaching me to clean…coming to my sixth birthday…for my first dollar on my birthday…taking me to the beach…being funny…letting my use your computer…thinking I can do it when I say, “I can’t”…making aunty my aunt…believing in me…leaving your love with me...being with me…caring for me…taking me to the museum…teaching me…putting me to sleep…helping me with my shoe laces…thank you for always helping me.

The room was stunned. Not only because this particular niece has written the card herself, but the things she was thanking me for spanned at least three years. Of course my wife was bawling her eyes out (hormones nonewithstanding).

As I went back in my minds eye and looked back over the last twelve years of being a surrogate dad to my nieces, I realized in spite of my reservation about how kids are faring in today’s world we parents and surrogates must continue fighting in the name of love for all children. Children notice and it does make a difference.

Bless Those Who Piss You Off

Yes, I know. The scripture in the book of Romans actually reads, "Bless those who curse you." However, we all know it could also mean, bless those who piss you off. A member of my Florida bible study group, who I'll call M, used to testify about how she would always pray for her boss inspite of his abrasive and cantankerous behaviour.

While M and her boss would have it out, at the end of the day, when he did show restraint M colleagues would thank her for having prayed.

I've recently learned through personal experience, that we can change the behavior of people who piss off us, by blessing them. Those people won't or may never be any more pleasant that before. However, you will find that you can deal with them better and that they might even apologize for their behavior and give a gift of appreciation. Try it and see.

Thirty Years to Life

I was on the way to work thinking that I had about thirty year of 9-to-5-ing left if I continued on my current path. Nothing wrong with the track per-se, but I am at what I feel is the zenith. In plain English, I have the perfect 9-to-5. The job is perfect, the job title, the company, the location, and the commute. Everything is perfect, for a 9-to-5. However, it occurred to me as it has in the last couple of weeks than I was ready for more. Ready to be on the other side of the desk. I’ll get to that another day perhaps.

When I got to my connecting station a guy about my age in a suit and tie suddenly struck up a conversation with, you mean thirty more years of this @#$#?

I said, “huh?” just to make sure he hadn’t been reading my mind, or I his.

Thirty more years for shuffling to drudgery, he continued.

“I hear ya,” I told him. He then asked me what I thought about his comment. I told him humorously (a la Beatles) that maybe that (working for the next thirty years) was what happens while you’re making other plans.

He then asked me where I worked, and vice-versa. I had heard of his company and told him I knew a few people who worked there years back.

He replied, “if they don’t work there anymore, I can understand why.” As we parted for different trains he seemed to cheer up. So did I.

If we both, God willing, have thirty years to life, we can spend it making plans. Plans to live with more meaning. Plans to experience more passion. Plans to love and be loved. Plans to help. Plans to heal. Plans to forgive. Plans to repent. Plans to be better people, so that regardless of how those years turn out, we know we had a life of our choosing.

When You're Sick

I've always felt that when I got sick it was for a reason. The reason I usually muse is that God wants to have a special conversation with me, and that I will be sick as long as it takes his message to get across.

So, yeah, I'm sick. I fought it for a while, but finally yesterday afternoon I bit the bullet. I was forced to truly relax, and get rest. Relaxing meant letting my wife "mother" me. It also gave me a feel of what she's been going through being pregnant. Not that I know what it feels like to be pregnant, but I know how it feel to feel like crap longer than one would like.

I went to bed about 11:30 p.m. and didn't get up until 12:00 p.m. The last time I slept like that, I had influenza.

I made a promise to myself that I would have more patience with the misses, and emphathize with what she's going through.