Everybody Hates Divorce.

Every once in a while (in a loooong while) I get some blast of inspiration from television. Yeah, I said it. Hear me out. I was watching Everybody Hates Chris, once of the best shows I’ve seen on T.V. in years. It’s based on the childhood of comedian Chris Rock.

This particular episode was centered on Chris’ mom’s aversion (read: shame) to using food stamps (a forms of public assistance for groceries), a necessity and reality for a lot of urban blacks in the 1980s (when the show is set).

Anyway, Chris’ dad had found $200 worth of food stamps and showed them to his wife. The idea was that they could now re-allocate grocery funds to things they often didn’t have extra money for. A family trip to the movies, a trip to the hairdressers for some major hair-do, etc.

Rather than risk being caught by her friends spending food stamps, Chris’ mom spent money allocated for the electricity bill (in addition to food) on the bulk groceries she was supposed to pay for with the food stamps.

To make matters worse, in trying to avoid being caught trying to sell the food stamps for cash, she got roped into agreeing to get her hair done. She ended up having to barter the food stamps to pay the hairdresser.

When her husband finally found out, I expected him to explode. However, in the presence of their children at the dinner table, Chris' father caught himself and then asked why she didn’t use the food stamps, and then why the hairdressers. Finally, he resigned and said, “At least you paid the light bill.” Suddenly, the power went out. Fade to black.

I learned something very important about marriage, particularly black marriage, but certainly marriage in general. When times are tough, particularly over a stretch of time, It’s important for a man to keep his temper in check, particularly around his children. It’s also important for a man not to put down his wife in front of their children. He must be always tactful, even when he may be ‘in the right.’ Especially when delivering a reprimand. It should be done as lovingly as possible. That’s something that I wish was as easy in real life as on T.V. Still, I enjoy trying, everyday.